The B Side
by Mya Kirne
Summary: Sequel/companion piece to "To The Moon" or "The A Side" . Seiji notices something's up with Toma...


A _huge_ thank you to everyone who has reviewed "To The Moon"/The A Side. All of your feedback is very much appreciated!

Confidential to Yawen: please see the end note.

* * *

"Toma."

"Yeah?" Seiji noticed how Toma's eyes darted all over the place, looking anywhere else, until they finally had to meet his own. He wondered...

"Is there something you would like to tell us?" Seiji finally asked.

The reply came quicker than he expected: "No."

Seiji had thought as much, but after months of wondering, restraining himself, (as he ought to have), in a moment of weakness he had finally given in. Finally confronted Toma about his comrade's uncharacteristic behavior.

He left Toma in their room—he wanted to reflect in peace, away from the other boy.

His feet automatically carried him along the well-known path to a clearing in the forest which surrounded Naste's house. He came here most often at night, to meditate on the events of the day, and calm his mind before bed. Yet it was not completely unheard of for him to come here during the day, too—when he simply wanted a respite from the chaos of the house, or when, such as in this case, something bothered him enough that he simply couldn't shake it.

It was mere moments before his breathing slowed, and he felt his mind becoming more focused as he slipped into a meditative trance.

If Toma knew...

If Toma knew of Seiji's feelings for him, if that had been the problem bothering Toma these past months, the other would have said as much...wouldn't he have? Toma was always so blunt.

Always, until now...

No one else seemed to have picked up on Toma's strange behavior. Why? Was it because Seiji was the closest to him? Because he had the advantage of sharing a room with him? Something other reason entirely? But even so, Shin was usually observant when it came to personal problems, and so it was a bit surprising that the auburn haired youth had yet to comment on it.

It could be that Seiji himself was watching Toma more closely than the others, though—that changes which seemed major to him were of less importance to the others.

Yes, it could very well be he was blowing the whole thing out of proportion. Over the past few months, Toma had become more snappish, particularly when it came to Seiji; that much was true. But the blonde also knew that Toma's already strange sleeping habits—staying up until two or three AM to read a book or stargaze or whatever else he felt like—had become stranger still. Just that morning, in fact, just as Seiji was waking up, he had heard Toma crawling into bed at five-thirty. That was a new record, even for him.

If left to his own devices, Seiji personally thought Toma would turn nocturnal (he was heading that way already), and so the other boy obviously had little love spared for the one who—by virtue of sharing a room with him—was burdened with the unpleasant task of trying to wake Toma up every day.

He tried not to dwell on that, on the fact that Toma really did have 'little love spared' for him. Whatever Toma's feelings for him were or were not (and they weren't, of course—it was so obvious they weren't), it didn't matter, either way. Nothing could come of it.

No, nothing at all. Seiji, true to form, would participate in _miai_, let his family choose the girl they thought best suited for him— it was his obligation as the heir to the Date clan to allow them do as much. After that meeting, it was up to Seiji to decide if he would accept her, or ask to meet the next candidate. He would have that much, at least.

A boyfriend would never be allowed.

He sighed as he rose: he was accustomed to mental discipline, so he would not allow himself to be weak, to succumb to the musings of 'what if' that wanted to dance through his mind. He would not let them. Instead, he would act, and would give Toma one last chance, one last chance to tell him what was bothering him enough to make him act so strangely. No matter what his response proved to be, Seiji promised himself he would not press the matter farther. He would let the 'what ifs' die.

After dinner, his chance presented itself, and so Seiji took it. There Toma was, alone in their room—with no one else around upstairs to possibly overhear what they had to say to one another.

"Toma."

"Yeah?"

And somehow, just like that, it had all gotten turned around, with those blue eyes staring at him so intently. Rather than what he had planned to ask, Seiji felt words, dangerous words—forbidden words—on the tip of his tongue, aching to get out.

"Seiji?" Toma prompted, while Seiji kept his mouth firmly shut, to keep everything inside. He would have to answer, but he felt so close to the edge—so close to saying things he shouln't.

"Nothing," he finally said, managing to get that out before anything else slipped through, and left as abruptly as he had come—before he gave in to his weakness, gave himself away.

* * *

His parents had chosen her for him. But that was something the others didn't need to know. It was his own personal matter.

She...she was not smart or straightforward or pragmatic or more brutally honest than Seiji could ever dream of being, not like...

No. He would not think of that.

Yet she was kind, and sweet, and loving, and caring. Everything the perfect wife should be. His parents would have allowed nothing less, of course.

And...and he found that he did not dislike matters, as much as he had thought he would. Did he sometimes wish to trade her for another, one who was hopelessly exasperating and knew every way to get on his nerves and with whom he was desperately in love? Of course.

But he thought that maybe, he could learn to live like this, after all.

* * *

Sorry, Yawen, it's not your fault—I had this in the works since before your comment. Guess you just have bad luck?

In any case, everyone should check out **Juliette06's** alternate ending to this, "The C Side", because it is amazing. (And Yawen, I think you'll rather like it.)


End file.
